9.11.2008
14:24 Posted In 2009 , dts , listening , plans Edit This 0 Comments »
i've pulled out my suitcase again. how exciting! granted, there are as yet 70 days (give or take) 'til i actually step onto a rickety tin can suspended over the water, but of course i'm not counting yet. eek! it was a strong whisper in my mind five months ago, but confirmed officially just a handful of weeks ago. i'm headed to Panama for a YWAM (youth with a mission) discipleship training school. hooray! not at all what i expected to hear all those months of desperately asking and whispering and shouting and drawing and walking and wondering about in the prayer room. ">
but then, i'm so glad that most of what i expect to happen just...doesn't. so... what has he been telling me anyway? a. go to the dts. b. don't make any plans yet for anything after. c. don't even try to guess what God will be telling me next. d. he WILL be telling me what's next exactly after the last minute, but just before i really need to know. e. be praying for the leaders of the dts. f. keep prepping my heart for it through reading the bible. g. get rid of most of my things in order to be ready to just be picked up and taken where i need to be next. h. trust. trust. trust. TRUST him & his process within me and keep listening. and of course i. it's absolutely, most definitely worth it.
so... what am i doing at this point? well, there's definitely a little bit of freaking out going on, much of it surprising me in random anxious dreams recently, (i mean, seriously, how frightening is it really to loose track of one of the teens in my care for a little while, they'll be fine, really!) (but then, say that to this panicked, wild eyed, wild haired gasped breath wake-up in the middle of the night. it doesn't seem so able to rationalize then) (which, then sent me into praying: ok, so, something's up. this isn't normal, but help me to first dig deeply enough into self to find out what this is about, and then to let it go and trust.) so alot of this panic has melted almost completely as i again actively take steps and make choices to keep following the instructions i've already received, after several weeks of ignoring them and just distracting myself into hand-wringing despair.
so... back to what am i doing at this point? building up to one of the grandest garage sales west of the mississippi :), (or something!), working for two more months with the Special Needs Unit of the YMCA (now how is that for unexpected, working for a little over a year with the ymca to be told to walk toward ywam), learning how to draw! (yay! this has been a fun adventure), spending time with dear dear friends, and wondering about what's to come.
my plan is to keep this blog up quite a bit more regularly than the last year (which, good for me, really won't be a hard task, as my competing record is 4 posts within an entire year!), no, but seriously, i'd like to keep all my dear ones, and all those just curious more aware of all the happenings and musings and ridiculous bits along the way.
happy november!
another couple of websites that i've just run across:
but then, i'm so glad that most of what i expect to happen just...doesn't. so... what has he been telling me anyway? a. go to the dts. b. don't make any plans yet for anything after. c. don't even try to guess what God will be telling me next. d. he WILL be telling me what's next exactly after the last minute, but just before i really need to know. e. be praying for the leaders of the dts. f. keep prepping my heart for it through reading the bible. g. get rid of most of my things in order to be ready to just be picked up and taken where i need to be next. h. trust. trust. trust. TRUST him & his process within me and keep listening. and of course i. it's absolutely, most definitely worth it.
so... what am i doing at this point? well, there's definitely a little bit of freaking out going on, much of it surprising me in random anxious dreams recently, (i mean, seriously, how frightening is it really to loose track of one of the teens in my care for a little while, they'll be fine, really!) (but then, say that to this panicked, wild eyed, wild haired gasped breath wake-up in the middle of the night. it doesn't seem so able to rationalize then) (which, then sent me into praying: ok, so, something's up. this isn't normal, but help me to first dig deeply enough into self to find out what this is about, and then to let it go and trust.) so alot of this panic has melted almost completely as i again actively take steps and make choices to keep following the instructions i've already received, after several weeks of ignoring them and just distracting myself into hand-wringing despair.
so... back to what am i doing at this point? building up to one of the grandest garage sales west of the mississippi :), (or something!), working for two more months with the Special Needs Unit of the YMCA (now how is that for unexpected, working for a little over a year with the ymca to be told to walk toward ywam), learning how to draw! (yay! this has been a fun adventure), spending time with dear dear friends, and wondering about what's to come.
my plan is to keep this blog up quite a bit more regularly than the last year (which, good for me, really won't be a hard task, as my competing record is 4 posts within an entire year!), no, but seriously, i'd like to keep all my dear ones, and all those just curious more aware of all the happenings and musings and ridiculous bits along the way.
happy november!
another couple of websites that i've just run across:
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